My Friendships

I started and stopped this blog three times before I decided which direction to take. Obviously this post is about people who I have formed a relationship. I've had many friends in my lifetime. It doesn't matter how they came into my life and why they left, at some point they all meant the world to me. I have friends in different age groups, different ethnic groups, even from different financial classes. The one thing they have in common is being my friend.

I have friends that I can go six months without talking or seeing but when we talk it's like we haven't missed a beat. Other friends I have a need to communicate with on a daily basis and if we don't talk it seems like a part of me is missing. Growing up I had a best friend who hurt and betrayed me when we were teenagers. That was the first time I experienced loss of a friendship. Unfortunately, that relationship also changed the way I approached friendships for many years to come. I would be friends with people but I would only let them in so far. I'm happy to say that over my lifetime I have only lost one friend to death and that happened earlier this year.

My daughter and I moved to Charlotte in 1995 after my now husband and I were engaged. He had friends in the area and they instantly became my friends. He was in the military at the time and so were all of my new friends. He left the Navy in 1997 and by then most of my new found friends were stationed in other places. It was no big deal not having friends to hang out and do things because at that time I was really busy with him and my daughter. My daughter started middle school in 1999. She was involved in lots of activities and my life revolved around her and her friends. That was fine but it was around that time I became fascinated with the Internet. So most of my friendships were in cyberspace. It was easy to log on to a chat room or forum and talk to people about what ever the days issues were. The only problem with online friendships is that they are just that, online. Again, not a real problem for me at the time. I did meet a friend that has been there for me over the years . We did eventually meet face to face and our friendship blossomed and is still going strong today. The real problem happened in 2006 when my daughter went away to college.

A few months after she was in college I realized that I literally had no friends to hang out and do things with except my co-workers. And don't get me wrong some of my closest and dearest friends are my co-workers. But I no longer had the kind of "girlfriend" relationships I had in the past. I didn't have anyone to confide in and share my personal problems. Some things are just not meant to be shared with the spouse lol. This started my journey to find friends. It's really not easy to make new friends as an adult. It's rather awkward when you think about it. So back to my trusty friend Mr. Computer. I found a wonderful website called Meet up.com. It was perfect for me. There I found groups of people just like me looking to make friends. The first groups I joined were for women only. They were fine at first then I realized that some women in their 30's and 40's are just like teenage girls, caddy, judgemental and clickish. I stuck with those groups for a few months before I started joining groups that were both male and female members and larger. That worked out to my benefit because I met another really good friend and we are still friends. She was going through issues of her own at the time and becoming the great independent strong woman she is today.

Since 2006 I am more outgoing and able to meet strangers and turn them into friends. I'm not as awkward as I was then and i'm ok going to parties or dinner alone because I know by the end of the night I will have made a new friend. The two really good friends I made through the internet each bring something different and special to my life. They know they hold a very special place in my heart and no matter what we will always be friends. I adoringy refer to them as my male and female BFF's. It is so awesome to have a female and male perspective with my issues. On occasion they both give me the same advice which also great because I know they are probably right. They are different in almost every way, different sex, different race, different backgrouds etc but they have one thing in common, they are my friends.

I'm not always the greatest friend but I do try extremely hard to be a good friend. If I call you a friend you get a part of me. So to all my friends, in person or in cyberspace, I love you all and I thank you for being my friend.