Mommie Porn

Boy meets girl.  Boy and girl instantly fall in love and have a great relationship.  Boy and girl suddenly are at odds and break things off.  Then tragedy strikes and brings them back together and they live happily ever after. This the premise of every romance novel I've ever read.  Oh sure the characters, location, jobs, and the tragedy are different  but still the same story.   I've always been an avid reader and romance novels are my favorite.  So naturally after   hearing so much about this romantic trilogy I had no choice but to read the books.  I was thinking it's a romance novel  can't be much different from the books I always read,  right? 

  Yes the story line is the typical romance novel  but this is not a Nicholas Sparks  sweet innocent romance novel.  I only downloaded book one  just to see what all the hype was about. Half way through  book one  I'd  downloaded books two and three  and wishing I was Anastasia Steele.
 Christian Grey would be any woman's fantasy man.  Strikingly handsome, sensual and erotic, uber rich and is so protective of you.  Well in his world protective means dominate.  I never thought of bondage as romantic until I read these books.  Yes it was very erotic but not in a dirty way. And I must admit it really was graphic bad words and all.  And if you don't like the F word this story is not for you. Well needless to say  I enjoyed this trilogy so much I think I've developed an addiction to erotic romance.  I'm already planning a girl's night when the movie premiers.

Gabriel became my next fantasy man.  He was sexy, very rich  and a super smart college Professor.

 

F

Followed by  Gideon Cross. 

I'm serious about developing an addiction to these books.  I have to wait another month for book 3 in the Crossfire series and it's driving me crazy.

 

Guess my naughty little secret is not so secret anymore.     

 

 

 

  

ONE THING IN COMMON

Brian, Jason, Annie, Nancy,Linda C, David, Diane, Linda W,and Troy.  What do this list of people have in common besides knowing me.  CANCER!!!!!   This is a list of my friends, family and co-workers that have been stricken with some type of cancer in the last few years. 

Brian and my sister Linda C, were diagnosed with different kinds of rare tumors.  They both went to the emergency room complaining of symptoms that appeared to be bronchitis.  They were both initially treated for the less serious disorder.  They both lost their fight with cancer within months of being diagnosed.

Nancy, Linda W and my mom Annie all  diagnosed with breast cancer. My mom was diagnosed after the age of 65 and is still alive and kicking at age 73.  Nancy diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and lost her fight last year.  She was such an inspiration to her friends and family  and faught as hard as she could until the very end. Linda was diagnosed and treated and is doing well after more than five years.

David diagnosed with lung cancer. He also went to the doctor thinking it was something less serious like bronchitis.  Went through treatment and passed away last year of lung cancer.

Diane, Jason and Troy  all diagnosed with Lymphoma.  Jason is cancer free after a few years.  Diane cancer free after being diagnosed last year.  Troy still fighting after being diagnosed a few months ago but positive that he will be cancer free by January.

Each of these amazing people touched me in one way or another.  Of course my sister and my mom were difficult cases to deal with  because they are family.  But finding out my co-workers and friends are dealing with a Cancer diagnosis is just as hard.  You pray for them and their families.  You want them to pull through and be ok and you pray for this everyday.  And if they lose their battle you mourn the loss. 

I am writing this post in hopes that people will focus on ALL types of Cancer through out the year not just breast cancer in October.  I hope that everyone will get Cancer screenings and regular checkups and be persistent with their doctors if they think something is wrong.  Please check out the links below for more information.......

http://www.cancer.org/

http://www.livestrong.org/


http://www.lymphoma.org/site/pp.asp?c=bkLTKaOQLmK8E&b=6296735

Life List not Bucket List

Just celebrated my birthday on Friday and I'm so glad to be alive.  I always hear people saying they are going to start a "Bucket List" of things they want to do before they die.  That just doesn't seem right to me.  It sounds like you are focusing on dying.  So I've decided instead to start a "Life List".  I want to do things that make me focus on living my life. 

My life list won't be filled with extreme things like skydiving.  I want to spend time focusing on the simpler things in life. I want to  go ice skating and ballroom dancing with my husband.    I want to do random acts of kindness for other people.  I always say "if I was rich"  I would do this or that to help others.  That's just an excuse.  You don't have to be rich to do good deeds.  I want to travel to Paris or some tropical romantic paradise.   I would love to take an art class or learn to play the piano.  It's my list so I can do both. 

I'm so excited  I'm going to officially create MY LIFE LIST!!!!!!

One Month

I just realized today is  eactly one month until my birthday.  Normally that's not a big deal except this year it means I failed at my last year birthday resolutions.   Technically I didn't fail at all of them  well I only really failed at one.  I still have 30 days to take a flight somewhere  but let's be real it's not going to happen.

I did accomplish some new things in the past year  like taking that long awaited cruise.  I also started a new job  which I absolutely love  and I made some changes in my life.   I will continue on my quest for new adventures  and complete as many as possible in the next year. 

How Should I Feel

My brother has been in the hospital since Friday with acute kidney failure and on 24 hour daily dialysis.  His condition is stable right now  but things could change.  We are not as close as we used to be  but I still call and check on him every few weeks.  Mostly because my mom ask me to do it.  I still love my brothers and my sister  but since I moved away  we have not been that close.  But that doesn't mean I don't care about their well being.

My older brother is mad at him because he feels he brought this on himself by drinking too much over the years.  Although he took him to the hospital  he has not checked on him or anything since Friday. I called him today to let him know our brother was stable and he was still fussing that my brother brought this on himself.   Am I wrong to think that no matter the reason we should still care and be concerned about his health? 

I feel like I am always in the middle trying to do the right thing.  I love my siblings even though they don't seem to care about me or each other.  I know that i'm right to care and to try to do whatever I can to help.  But it really gets hard during times like this.

Why Don't Black Women Like Me?

Over the last week I have gone out with two sets of women.  First group black  woman and second group white women.  Not a lot of differences in the women except maybe the ages  but that's not the point.  I behaved in much the same manner with both groups.  Small talk  about work, spouse, children etc.  no big deal.  Only difference is at the end of spending time with the black women  no one exchanged numbers, face book pages, or email address.   The white women on the other hand all wanted to be face book friends before our night ended.  It wouldn't be that big of a deal  but this happens to me all the time.

I really thought about this over the last week and realized since I moved to Charlotte  I have only met one or two black women that really wanted to be friends with me.  This has also made me wonder why?  I'm a nice person.  I'm a little shy  and I'm never the first person to initiate conversation.  Maybe people take my shyness as being stuck up.  But if that's the case why do white women talk to me and want to hang out?   I really have no answer for this question and it's really bugging me. 

This is not just in my personal life but my work life as well.  At work I eat lunch with a group of white women.  I chit chat with the black women in my office but we never really hang out.  However, I do socialize with some of the white women.  Yes there are some things about me that are not stereotypical of black women  but not that many.  I try to be encouraging to all women I meet.  I have insecurities about myself just like most women  and that's why I'm not more outgoing.  I freely give compliments to other women because I think it's a nice thing to do.  White women will usually smile say thank you and even sometimes strike up a conversation.  But not most black women  they will say thanks  and quickly move on.  

This is one blog I wish had more followers, especially black women,  maybe then I could get an answer to my question. 

46 the new 16

At 46 years old you would think that I would finally know my place in life.  Well guess what I don't. I feel like I did when I was 16.  I was not quite an adult but no longer a little kid.  My forties have the same feel for me. I'm to old to really hang out with people in their 20's and early 30's  but not quite old enough to want to be around people in their late 50's or early 60's except for a select few.  I have trouble  deciding on fashions.  I don't want to dress like my 23 year old daughter  but at the same time I don't want to dress like a grandma.  What to do?

I've decided to be me just like I did at age 16.  I was very mature at 16 so I found it hard to hang out with people my own age.  Thank goodness for a sister that was 5 years older :).  She was cool and let me hangout with her and her friends.  Back then I felt like a young person trapped in an old person's body.  And now I feel just the opposite.  I'm not old.  I don't look old and I certainly don't feel old.   It's hard for me to look in the mirror and think I will be 50 in three years.  People see me with my daughter and think we are sisters.  And besides it's really fun to keep people guessing about my age.


  I'm going to continue going out and having as much fun as possible.  I will continue to dress in what I consider age appropriate clothes and be the best me I can be!!!!!!  So to anyone else struggling with what's "age appropriate"  I say forget about it  and just have fun.