Mommie Porn

Boy meets girl.  Boy and girl instantly fall in love and have a great relationship.  Boy and girl suddenly are at odds and break things off.  Then tragedy strikes and brings them back together and they live happily ever after. This the premise of every romance novel I've ever read.  Oh sure the characters, location, jobs, and the tragedy are different  but still the same story.   I've always been an avid reader and romance novels are my favorite.  So naturally after   hearing so much about this romantic trilogy I had no choice but to read the books.  I was thinking it's a romance novel  can't be much different from the books I always read,  right? 

  Yes the story line is the typical romance novel  but this is not a Nicholas Sparks  sweet innocent romance novel.  I only downloaded book one  just to see what all the hype was about. Half way through  book one  I'd  downloaded books two and three  and wishing I was Anastasia Steele.
 Christian Grey would be any woman's fantasy man.  Strikingly handsome, sensual and erotic, uber rich and is so protective of you.  Well in his world protective means dominate.  I never thought of bondage as romantic until I read these books.  Yes it was very erotic but not in a dirty way. And I must admit it really was graphic bad words and all.  And if you don't like the F word this story is not for you. Well needless to say  I enjoyed this trilogy so much I think I've developed an addiction to erotic romance.  I'm already planning a girl's night when the movie premiers.

Gabriel became my next fantasy man.  He was sexy, very rich  and a super smart college Professor.

 

F

Followed by  Gideon Cross. 

I'm serious about developing an addiction to these books.  I have to wait another month for book 3 in the Crossfire series and it's driving me crazy.

 

Guess my naughty little secret is not so secret anymore.     

 

 

 

  

ONE THING IN COMMON

Brian, Jason, Annie, Nancy,Linda C, David, Diane, Linda W,and Troy.  What do this list of people have in common besides knowing me.  CANCER!!!!!   This is a list of my friends, family and co-workers that have been stricken with some type of cancer in the last few years. 

Brian and my sister Linda C, were diagnosed with different kinds of rare tumors.  They both went to the emergency room complaining of symptoms that appeared to be bronchitis.  They were both initially treated for the less serious disorder.  They both lost their fight with cancer within months of being diagnosed.

Nancy, Linda W and my mom Annie all  diagnosed with breast cancer. My mom was diagnosed after the age of 65 and is still alive and kicking at age 73.  Nancy diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and lost her fight last year.  She was such an inspiration to her friends and family  and faught as hard as she could until the very end. Linda was diagnosed and treated and is doing well after more than five years.

David diagnosed with lung cancer. He also went to the doctor thinking it was something less serious like bronchitis.  Went through treatment and passed away last year of lung cancer.

Diane, Jason and Troy  all diagnosed with Lymphoma.  Jason is cancer free after a few years.  Diane cancer free after being diagnosed last year.  Troy still fighting after being diagnosed a few months ago but positive that he will be cancer free by January.

Each of these amazing people touched me in one way or another.  Of course my sister and my mom were difficult cases to deal with  because they are family.  But finding out my co-workers and friends are dealing with a Cancer diagnosis is just as hard.  You pray for them and their families.  You want them to pull through and be ok and you pray for this everyday.  And if they lose their battle you mourn the loss. 

I am writing this post in hopes that people will focus on ALL types of Cancer through out the year not just breast cancer in October.  I hope that everyone will get Cancer screenings and regular checkups and be persistent with their doctors if they think something is wrong.  Please check out the links below for more information.......

http://www.cancer.org/

http://www.livestrong.org/


http://www.lymphoma.org/site/pp.asp?c=bkLTKaOQLmK8E&b=6296735

Life List not Bucket List

Just celebrated my birthday on Friday and I'm so glad to be alive.  I always hear people saying they are going to start a "Bucket List" of things they want to do before they die.  That just doesn't seem right to me.  It sounds like you are focusing on dying.  So I've decided instead to start a "Life List".  I want to do things that make me focus on living my life. 

My life list won't be filled with extreme things like skydiving.  I want to spend time focusing on the simpler things in life. I want to  go ice skating and ballroom dancing with my husband.    I want to do random acts of kindness for other people.  I always say "if I was rich"  I would do this or that to help others.  That's just an excuse.  You don't have to be rich to do good deeds.  I want to travel to Paris or some tropical romantic paradise.   I would love to take an art class or learn to play the piano.  It's my list so I can do both. 

I'm so excited  I'm going to officially create MY LIFE LIST!!!!!!

One Month

I just realized today is  eactly one month until my birthday.  Normally that's not a big deal except this year it means I failed at my last year birthday resolutions.   Technically I didn't fail at all of them  well I only really failed at one.  I still have 30 days to take a flight somewhere  but let's be real it's not going to happen.

I did accomplish some new things in the past year  like taking that long awaited cruise.  I also started a new job  which I absolutely love  and I made some changes in my life.   I will continue on my quest for new adventures  and complete as many as possible in the next year. 

How Should I Feel

My brother has been in the hospital since Friday with acute kidney failure and on 24 hour daily dialysis.  His condition is stable right now  but things could change.  We are not as close as we used to be  but I still call and check on him every few weeks.  Mostly because my mom ask me to do it.  I still love my brothers and my sister  but since I moved away  we have not been that close.  But that doesn't mean I don't care about their well being.

My older brother is mad at him because he feels he brought this on himself by drinking too much over the years.  Although he took him to the hospital  he has not checked on him or anything since Friday. I called him today to let him know our brother was stable and he was still fussing that my brother brought this on himself.   Am I wrong to think that no matter the reason we should still care and be concerned about his health? 

I feel like I am always in the middle trying to do the right thing.  I love my siblings even though they don't seem to care about me or each other.  I know that i'm right to care and to try to do whatever I can to help.  But it really gets hard during times like this.

Why Don't Black Women Like Me?

Over the last week I have gone out with two sets of women.  First group black  woman and second group white women.  Not a lot of differences in the women except maybe the ages  but that's not the point.  I behaved in much the same manner with both groups.  Small talk  about work, spouse, children etc.  no big deal.  Only difference is at the end of spending time with the black women  no one exchanged numbers, face book pages, or email address.   The white women on the other hand all wanted to be face book friends before our night ended.  It wouldn't be that big of a deal  but this happens to me all the time.

I really thought about this over the last week and realized since I moved to Charlotte  I have only met one or two black women that really wanted to be friends with me.  This has also made me wonder why?  I'm a nice person.  I'm a little shy  and I'm never the first person to initiate conversation.  Maybe people take my shyness as being stuck up.  But if that's the case why do white women talk to me and want to hang out?   I really have no answer for this question and it's really bugging me. 

This is not just in my personal life but my work life as well.  At work I eat lunch with a group of white women.  I chit chat with the black women in my office but we never really hang out.  However, I do socialize with some of the white women.  Yes there are some things about me that are not stereotypical of black women  but not that many.  I try to be encouraging to all women I meet.  I have insecurities about myself just like most women  and that's why I'm not more outgoing.  I freely give compliments to other women because I think it's a nice thing to do.  White women will usually smile say thank you and even sometimes strike up a conversation.  But not most black women  they will say thanks  and quickly move on.  

This is one blog I wish had more followers, especially black women,  maybe then I could get an answer to my question. 

46 the new 16

At 46 years old you would think that I would finally know my place in life.  Well guess what I don't. I feel like I did when I was 16.  I was not quite an adult but no longer a little kid.  My forties have the same feel for me. I'm to old to really hang out with people in their 20's and early 30's  but not quite old enough to want to be around people in their late 50's or early 60's except for a select few.  I have trouble  deciding on fashions.  I don't want to dress like my 23 year old daughter  but at the same time I don't want to dress like a grandma.  What to do?

I've decided to be me just like I did at age 16.  I was very mature at 16 so I found it hard to hang out with people my own age.  Thank goodness for a sister that was 5 years older :).  She was cool and let me hangout with her and her friends.  Back then I felt like a young person trapped in an old person's body.  And now I feel just the opposite.  I'm not old.  I don't look old and I certainly don't feel old.   It's hard for me to look in the mirror and think I will be 50 in three years.  People see me with my daughter and think we are sisters.  And besides it's really fun to keep people guessing about my age.


  I'm going to continue going out and having as much fun as possible.  I will continue to dress in what I consider age appropriate clothes and be the best me I can be!!!!!!  So to anyone else struggling with what's "age appropriate"  I say forget about it  and just have fun.

Finally A Fun First

So my attempt at doing exciting new things this year got off to a slow start.  I have done a few small things  but nothing worth writing about.  Things changed last week :)  I went on my very first cruise.  I had been waiting for this trip since September. The months leading up to my trip were fun and exciting.  I had three friends lined up and ready to go.  Things were going great and time was winding down.  I refused to let the Italian cruise ship wreck scare me.  I was like that was a freak accident  not going to happen on my cruise.   Then when the kid fell to his death on the same ship I was set to sail on  I got a little scared  but was determined I was going and would have fun.  Then one of my friends cancelled.  It was sad that she changed her mind  but fortunately I had another friend that wanted to go.  So off we go to the Bahamas.

My long time friend and I decided to spend the night in Charleston the day before the cruise.  It was great  we had a nice drive from Charlotte talking and giggling all the way.  We had so much fun just like always.  She was excited since it was her first trip to Charleston.  We checked in our hotel and spent the afternoon shopping.  Shopping is our favorite thing ever.  I was a little challenged in the direction department trying to walk to the restaurant I wanted to eat, so we ended up having fast food.  But again we were having so much fun it didn't even matter.  We did make it safely back to the hotel where we met a long time online friend of mine for drinks.   That led to a couple of hours of chit chat and uncontrollable laughter.  After a very long fun filled day  it was bed time.  I was so excited the cruise was in a few hours.

We wake up bright and early get dressed pack up everything and check out.  We were very surprised to step outside to 30 degree temps.  Needless to say I was not prepared.  I had a suitcase full of clothes for a warm Caribbean cruise. What was a girl to do but hop in the car drive across the Cooper River Bridge  and what else  go SHOPPING!!!!   Two hours later heading back across the bridge to head for the ship.  That turned into more laughter and a little traffic drama.  I took a wrong turn, police sent me around the world to get right back where we started.  Finally made our way through the maze of orange traffic cones, paid the $75.00 parking fee, tagged all our luggage, drove through the maze again and parked.  I'm really excited now  I can see the ship in the distance.  Boarding was much easier than parking. While standing in line to have our boarding pics taken  our other two friends arrived.  It was the first time all day we were all together.  Finally made it on board.

We were all very excited when we stepped into the main lobby.  It was like a floating Las Vegas.  We quickly made our way to our cabins hoping to find our luggage waiting.  Of course it wasn't there, so we heading back up to the deck.  It was still freezing  but we were already having a blast.  We had lunch on the deck and took a few pictures. Finished lunch, the security briefing and we set sail around 4:30.  Let the fun begin.  The first night was great   good dinner,  drinks, some dancing then off to bed.  It was a long day.  Tuesday at sea was great too.  We got up early had breakfast on the deck, spent the day exploring the ship and people watching.  Tuesday night we dressed for the captain's dinner and a fun night of dancing.  Wednesday we docked in Freeport.  We had planned an excursion to a local resort.  It sounded more fun on paper than it actually was.  There was nothing to do but lay on the beach or by the pool.  That was fine for two hours  but our excursion lasted 5 hours so needless to say I was bored.  Returned to the ship in the afternoon called my family because I was missing them now.  Had a great dinner  but the rest of the night was a total bust.  There was absolutely nothing to do on board.  There were too many kids running around and none of the bars on board were open.  I was in bed by 10.  We spent Thursday in Nassau.  That was a lot of fun and more shopping. Friday last day at sea,  weather was great, lunch was great, dinner was great  but I was ready for home.

We made it safely back to port on Saturday morning.  Debarkment went smooth  but it was horrible dragging all our luggage from the ship to the car. I was a little disappointed that there was not as many things  to do on board, but overall I had a great time.  I've never been anywhere outside the U.S.  and I know technically the Bahamas is not that far away  but it was something new for me.  I have the travel bug now  and I'm already planning another cruise in the next 12 months.  I'm also trying to talk my hubby into a 3 week vacation to drive cross country next year.